I guess this thing needs a title

How do I even tumblr?

I mostly reblog other people's reblogs with occasional interruptions detailing my weight loss and fitness goals and my progress towards those goals.
Who I Follow

crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

(via beaiank)

It’s not Saturday tomorrow. That’s completely horrible.

doingthingsinthedesert:

callmeoutis:

i was ready to just scroll past like “haha grammar humor” but then it was weird al and i,

jarofbees
!

YES.

hairbinger:

c-cassandra:

my hair and i have a very complicated relationship </3

I’m can second that sista’

(via ideasandconvictions)

quisqueyasworld:

onlyblackbeauty:

"Yes hello, I’d like to make a de-paws-it."

"That’s funny."

"My finances are not a fucking game, Jessica."

ITS BACK!

Yeeesssss

(via ideasandconvictions)

  • me: hello darkness my old friend
  • darkness: do i know u

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND

FLOOR IT?

NICK NO

HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND

NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN

I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES

NICK P L E A S E

(via sh1blet)

dalekitsune:

liztrade:

stoneandbloodandwater:

iincantatem:

Dumbledore, notorious for giving second chances Dumbledore, let Sirius rot in Azkaban for twelve years.

He must have known Sirius well due to his time in the Order, he must have known what James meant to Sirius….

  • [I exit the restroom, where I have been cleaning, carrying a garbage bag. There's a customer standing at the counter, so I go to deal with him, setting the bag down beside the counter. The following conversation ensues.]
  • Customer: [Incomprehensible]
  • Me: Hm?
  • Customer: What you doin in that bathroom?
  • Me: [slightly taken aback by how strange a question that is] Cleaning. [indicates garbage bag] Taking out the trash.
  • Customer: You sure you weren't playin wit your worm?
  • [Pause as I process through the slang and nigh-incomprehensible accent, and realize with some shock that this man actually just asked whether I had been masturbating in the restroom.]
  • Me: ... no.
  • Customer, angry: Hey! Smile! I'm just pickin wit you! You ain't had nobody pick on you before?
  • Me: ... here's your change.

dahowbbit:

goddessofsax:

Here’s a handy dandy color reference chart for you artists, writers, or any one else who needs it! Inspired by this post x

(via sh1blet)